If only I was better I could be the one remembered,I could be the one respected.Instead,ranks are just given to little kitties that weren't even in the Clan before, or just joined while just being a long time friend. I think it's vacuous that people that worked so hard and didn't get a rank they were working for a long time. I feel forgotten because all the higher ranks I get are because I'm an unintelligent flea-bag getting everything they want by complaining. I'm starting to feel as if I should step down from my rank and give it to Moonfur, because guess what? He's been waiting for so long,and working so hard that he deserves Elite Warrior more than I do. I'm still a kit. I feel as if people expect less of me than I can actually do,I do so much more it hurts how blind they are. I even feel like leaving CresentClan sometimes,that's how unwanted I feel. Soulkit seems like the only one who cares,the only one there for me. I used to think that everything would get better,I wanted to be a Guard,but instead I was to blinded to see and went for a stupid rank such as an Elite Warrior. I might begin to turn a cold,blood-shedding freak like Morder did when she was turned away. I've begun to feel nothing but anger and sadness,I've been forgotten too many times over to feel happiness except with Soulkit. Cats who've been in CrescentClan a long time get rewarded, I guess others don't. I've been in CrescentClan about a year and I've never been respected, never. I was told, that if you do something bad you get punished, but the funny thing is I seem to do everything bad! I get hit, bullied, pushed about and when all I do is work, I get called 'bad' when I don't play with the others and I work. The leaving the Clan part seems to become more clearer, I might leave. I might leave and rot away somewhere else where others actually care about me and my work.
Imagine you're a kit, just playing the normal KitClan game until someone messes it up. Trying to 'stick up' for a friend when it's just a game. Having KitClan banned forever just because of this stupid kit."Destinykit, move,"shouted Dreamkit telling Destinykit to get off Highrock."No, I'm Co-Deputy of KitClan so I should get to be up here!"Destinykit shouted back growling."Hey! Stop being mean to her she can be up there if she wants!" Exclaimed Luna, yelling at Dreamkit and I,"I am daughter of Wolfsong, grand daughter of Slystar, and I want you to stop!" I laughed at her,"No one cares about your family tree, we started to get her off nicely but she won't listen so shut up!"Luna started causing a racket, making the warriors come into the clearing as they started to ask what was going on. Clarity came up and started to act like he was the leader 'taking hold of the situation.' "It's no fair! Why should KitClan disband just because we asked Destinykit to get off Highrock?!"I cried, yelling at the warriors."We are going to disband KitClan for a while until we think you kits have the right to earn it back.I was angered so much, I decided I have had enough and ran away to the Nursery, ripping my claws into the walls tearing out patches of support.From that day on, anyone I met I made sure to never grow close to. After I had finished my ripping of the Nursery the warriors came to see if I was okay, after seeing it they punished me. I had to stay and fix the Nursery myself and wasn't able to eat until it was done. I soon grew to despise everyone in the Clan, turning hard and cold from the life I was made to live, I taught myself to be gruesome, merciless, bloodthirsty. I was soon ale to teach my Apprentice to be gruesome like me but never to live a life like mine. I didn't want anyone to be as bloodthirsty and gruesome as I. I was soon able to make cats scared of me, make sure they never met me in a battle unless they would like to fall to the ground, never to move again.I grew rabid, and soon was infested by Cataracts unable to see clearly and having a cloudy orange gaze. I made sure to have a scary frame and figure, I wanted to be feared, I wanted to be the one that would never show mercy on a single soul no matter what.
Not all battles can be horrible. Some of them, you can learn from them.
Yes, it was my first battle that was one of my strongest influences in my life. If some of you didn't know, I was a kit of Thunderclan (madjasterxyz). My new best friend, Featherkit, at the time, was racing me across the ponds in the front clearing. I didn't know it then, but she was the cat I'd love until our end, but that's a story for later. Then a group of apprentices came, and so did a fellow kit, asking the group about whether she could join them, or something like that. I didn't pay attention 'til later. When I did though, the group had pinned the kit down and was snarling, growling, and all of that. Featherkit and I hated watching, so we went over and told the group to lay off her.
"Keep your nose in your own information, you bee-brained kit," hissed one of them. Me, being the young little reckless thing I was, well, I was furious. Especially at the bee-brained part, so I yowled, "I'm not a bee-brain, you meanies!". A white, furry cat ran up to me and clawed my chest. That was when the chaos began. It hurt me, of course, but I was so angry, that I bit her paw as hard as I could. Featherkit ran at the apprentice pinning the other kit, and she clawed that guy's eye. There was another apprentice who wasn't as involved, but still kicked me off of Snowpaw and in the end, ran away. So while Featherkit and the other kit (who's name was apparently Rushkit) were attacking the tom, I was all over the one who clawed me. The white apprentice was apparently Snowpaw, and I was totally all out on her. It was claw for claw, bite for bite. It came to a point where Snowpaw was half-blind from me clawing her eyes, and me having literal holes in my ears, as well as some pretty horrid vision. Then a dog came in, grabbed the two apprentices, and pulled them away from us. But we weren't finished. We forced the dog to release them, and the tom ran like he was running for his life (which, he might've, considering how mad Featherkit was, too). Snowpaw grabbed Rushkit, dragged her as fast as she could to the ponds, and smacked her head against the rocks. With the slams came sickening thuds, and then a crack. Rushkit was as limp as a boneless snake corpse. I knew exactly what had happened, and I was ready to send Snowpaw out of my world. I rammed into Snowpaw from behind, and shoved her head under the water. Soon, she flailed less and less, and loud shrieks and yowls came from behind me. Before I could process anything, I was being pulled away from Snowpaw. Blurry images charged into the water, and that's all I saw before I blacked out.
I woke up in the medicine den, with a lot of herb smells. Featherkit was still looking eagerly at me, and it looked like she had been waiting for me to wake up forever. The memories came rushing back to me. The crack of Rushkit's skull, the blood spilling from his and Featherkit's wounds, and Snowpaw's flailing. When I thought of Rushkit, I instantly felt guilty. Like I could've prevented her death by not attacking, or even interacting at all. For quite some time, it haunted me.
In the end, Snowpaw was killed for attacking me multiple times after, but that didn't change anything. Finally, Featherkit asked me why I never went near the pond anymore, or why I didn't even like going to the clearing. So I told her. And her words have been what I replay in my mind and listen to ever since then. They guided me.
Don't feel guilty for what you couldn't have done. Don't feel upset that you didn't get what you feel you should've done. You can run from what happened, or you can learn from it.
==Wildheart's New Beginning==
It really was just another day in the life of CrescentClan. Kits roaming around and playing, apprentices goofing off and training, warriors either sleeping or yelling. It was just normal. Everything... Normal.. But, it all changed once skypelt started to show. I was in the medic den, speaking to the silver and alabaster she cat that was my aunt, Vani. Exodus watched the entrance to main dens, guarding it like a dog with it's prey. Malo and Amalia talked around the medic den, 2D watching over us all, in her own ways. It was fine. Until... There was a loud yowl that echoed off the walls of the dens, filling the air with fear and shock.
"Intruders! Rogues!" It was Exodus. I had no clue what was about to happen. But it all happened in a flash. It almost seemed like lightning, striking around me, yet only hitting me once.
The rogues cascaded into the dens, snapping and bellowing at all of CrescentClan. And suddenly, I felt it. My kits. Nothing would be stopping them now. I quickly yowled to Vani, and she understood within a second. All of the warriors filled the medic den, surrounding me in what seemed like a force field. Exodus lead the attack, swishing himself through the warriors, lacerating their ragged pelts with ease. The rest followed along, doing what best they could do while Vani tried her best. But one rogue was to fast. The brown pelted female worked with another, a black feline who quickly grasped Vani, throwing her out of the way and running after her. The brown pelted feline grasped the back of my neck, shaking and thrashing as I yowled, helpless. I thought it could be the end, the way she acted. Her violence. But it wasn't. I don't know who saved me. But whoever it was, I owe them my life. CrescentClan fought of the rouges, once again regaining our title. Vani ran back to me, and I myself, delivered my beautiful kits. My three little girls were given their names. Renaissance was first, a tan pelted she cat with brown swirls. I now call her Rene for short. Her name was given to her because she was born only a few days after my old friend Misa passed away. And I see Misa in Rene's eyes. Primrose was the next one. Born with a white pelt, a grey underbelly, and red moon like markings, she reminded me of the roses that bloomed in NewLeaf. Dice, was the last. She is a white she kit with dark grey and light grey patches and spots. I thought of the name after remembering my walk near a twoleg's home. All I remember is the word Dice. I'm thankful for my kits and my clan, for protecting me when I and my kits truly did need it most.
Vani blinked away the sleep in her ivory eyes. She was in Crescentclan's dimly lit nursery beside her mother. She smiled in contentment and curled back up again. Soon she had fallen asleep once more. It wasn't long after that when Astro was shaking Vani awake. Vani stared at her mother and realized something was wrong immediately when her mother was shaking with trepidation. "Vani, dear. The camp is flooding. Don't struggle." Astro mewed and grasped Vani's diminutive body in her maws. Astro ran into the clearing and joined their clanmates as they ran out of camp. Rain soaked Vani to the skin in a matter of seconds and constant thunder was followed by gargantuan bolts of lightning illuminating the midnight sky. The clan was running steadily for the open and tall hilly landscape across the territory, away from any sources of water and to reach the highest hight they could. A queen was struggling to keep her young kits with her. Astro set down Vani, knowing she was old enough to run and helped the queen with her kits. Vani kept a steady pace for a few minutes before she grew too tired to run. She had gained distance from her clanmates as they were all scatter away from falling tree branches. The chaos was encouraged by the yowls and thunderclaps. Lightning struck an oak ahead and a large tree limb fell in the distance between Vani and her clan. Vani screeched in terror and ran blindly in the opposite direction. She ran for hours as the storm raged on until she collasped under the cover of some brambles far from Crescentclan's territory. She past out rather quickly and seemed to sleep for hours. She woke up not in the bramble thicket, but on a bed of moss. She could hear two voices somewhere in the area, yet she was too exhausted to move or let alone open her eyes. "She stinks of Crescentclan," hissed a tom. "We shouldn't interfere with them. Now you want to take in their kit? Why don't we just leave it on their border." the tom finished. "I did take her to camp. They must've moved away because of the storm. Look. We've been looking for some company for awhile. And the stars clearly show that they want us to keep her. She came to us, Sparrow." replied a shecat. "Your insane, Pebble. You will get us both killed. I love you though. Until her clan comes, or if they don't, when she is healed." Sparrow sighed. "I knew you would come around." purred Pebble. Vani let out a feeble cry. Pebble bolted over and nudged Vani's flank with her muzzle. "Little kit? Are you ok?" Pebble mewed. Vani blinked open her eyes to see the dappled grey shecat looming over her. "Ah. There you are. Have some food." Pebble pushed a prepared mouse torwards Vani and smiled as she graciously devoured the mouse. "Where am I?" Vani mewed after gulping down the last piece of mouse. "Your with us. I'm Pebble. And the tom over there is Sparrow. We are going to help you." explained Pebble.